


She didn't know me

by OfDarkMind



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, something I wanted to see happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 01:56:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfDarkMind/pseuds/OfDarkMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oluo Bozado was best known in his team for being cocky and irritating. Mostly because he kept mimicking his superior Levi. But he did it for a couple reasons... one everyone knew... and one no one knew but himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She didn't know me

**Author's Note:**

> Could be spoilers for anyone who has not completely read everything or seen everything of Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan. If you don't want something ruined, finish the manga or episodes first then read. finality to something I always thought to be sweet. character deaths.

He could see she was angry.

He always did this… always pissed her off.

He wasn’t trying too. He just desperately wanted her to look at him with the same reverence she did when she looked at Levi.

What is it he is doing wrong?

He does everything the way Levi does. Why is it she looks at him scathingly and adoringly for the same behavior at Levi?

“Is that really how it is? I need to die to make you happy?” Oluo said, crossing his arms over his chest and said in a throaty voice. Much the way Levi would have done it. He prided himself on how well he could mimic him. “-No- I am sorry I said that… it was harsh. But you pissed me off.” Petra said brushing her hair out of her face in frustration.

“Remind me not to piss you off again.”

“Don’t… piss me off. Oluo-“She said and then suddenly turned around, saying his name with a sort of strain that he rarely ever heard there before.

“No… I get it. I am a pompous asshole. I should snip my tongue off and do the world a favor… in this case, you… a favor and die. Is that really what you want?” Oluo said, shrugging his shoulders and turning his head away as if her words had no real effect on him. But deep inside they hurt. He would rather be eaten by a titan slowly than hear her say that again.

“If…if you would just STOP-“She raised her hands in a claw like gesture at her sides as if she longed to strangle the man before her. “Stop trying to be like Captain Levi. You are not like him… you will never be like him. SO I don’t see why you try to be like him! It does NOT suit you!”

“I don’t have to pretend to be like him!” Oluo said defensively.

“But that is what you are doing.” Petra said as she approached him. The fires of irritation alight in her eyes and she took his cravat and pulled him into a slightly arch. “Did it occur to you that people would not be irritated with you if you were yourself?”

“Petra… people are irritated with me because I don’t care what others think. I say what I feel and do as I see fit. They don’t like that I have the right to talk about my accomplishments. I am that good and have the right to say so.” Oluo said as he looked down at her like he could care less, but inside he did and was thrilled like a child being kissed the first time that she was this close to him and even touching his cravat. He felt foolish. But he couldn’t show it.

“You have the right, Oluo. You are very good at what you do. No one would contest that. But you are not Levi. And you do not have the right to be an ass about it. Not if you want people to like you. Why… why can’t you just be yourself? You didn’t used to be like this.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Levi is admired by y… so many. And he gets away with how he is.” Oluo said in a matter of pointing out facts to his own defense.

“Because its really him! He is not pretending to be like anyone. He admires Commander Erwin… but he does not act like him. You are not really like this, Oluo… why do you imitate him this much?” Petra still looked a little irritated but her voice had softened considerable and her hold on his cravat loosened. He had to think about it for a second. He had two reasons for the way he is. Neither one of them gave him the right to do it either. He was ashamed and embarrassed now because he had tried to be himself and he found that whenever she was around he would snap right back into that routine.

For that matter… he couldn’t stop himself in front of Levi either. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery… but Heichuo barely notices. Or he does and does not find it fit to say anything.

“You know why.” He said seriously and his face changed. She had not really had the pleasure, unless he was asleep, to see the true set of Oluo’s face. When he was imitating Levi he always looked unenthused, contemptuous… like Levi… but when he was wearing his true face… when the real Oluo Bozado shone through… he looked sweet, caring… sad…

He brought his hand up to her wrist; the one holding the cravat, and gently took it. Whether he did it on purpose or reflexively is anyone’s guess, but his touch was far gentler than he ever was in demeanor around her lately.

“Because he saved you. Yes I know. But you trying to act like him is making you into a creep. I… we don’t like it, Oluo… We’d like it if you would just be yourself… for once.” Petra said. Her beautiful eyes sparkled and his heart soared. He felt his throat constrict. “I trust you deeply… I find you a wonderful friend and if I did not care for you I would not tell you that you are being an ass. I would let you continue and let everyone hate you.” Again her words cut deeper.

He surprised her when his face became neutral. He was looking down at her with something close to despondency. The light in his eyes changed and she could see it. He could tell she did by the way her pupils dilated as she looked at him.

“You hate me.” He said in a soft murmur. He ignored everything she was saying… all he could hear was that he was making her mad. But if he didn’t make her mad, she would not give him the time of day… this was the only way she’d pay attention. His face screwed up and he turned away from her. His cravat tugged slowly out of her hand as he turned, even such a little gesture as noting that she held to it hard enough to make it tug a little made his insides quiver but that insistent voice that sounded like Levi in his head would always say _you’re not good enough_ squashed it at once.

She saw him turning away without her defusing him of the notion that she hated him. Angry and irritated at him half the time yes… but she didn’t hate him. Not really. Was that a ghost of a tear in his eye or a trick of the light? His slim fingers dropped away from her wrist and he started to move away from her.

“Oluo…” She said and took his wrist in turn, halting his retreat. She noted that he yielded to her touch and his arm shook slightly. “I am sorry about what I said. And I don’t hate you. It looks like you aren’t the only one who says bad things and doesn’t mean it. It was cruel of me.” Oluo looked back at her over his shoulder. The set of his face had gone back to the usual desultory expression he wore when imitating his superior.

“It doesn’t matter. I know why I am here. I know I was chosen for this team because of my skill. That is all I should think about. It’s all that really matters, Petra. I shouldn’t be here worrying about what people think of me. This isn’t recreation. This is our lives. We are professionals. I should act like one… right?” He said and pulled away from her, trying to quell the urge to turn and embraced her.

He knew she would not have it, the thought that she may seek out Levi after this encounter… and if they have a moment, Levi may hold her… talk about him with her behind his back had effectively stomped on that urge. She may be a little more kind about it if he just turned and dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her and begged for her acceptance, she may even accept him… but never love him, no matter how much he was himself.

He felt inadequate...

She really had only gotten one reason he had decided to mimic Levi. It was a conscious thing… both reasons. Whatever was happening between her and Levi did not stop him from adoring the man. Levi saved him. He was inches from death and no matter what comes between them; Levi will always be his knight in shining armor. So for that, he wanted to be just like him… showing him how much he meant to him. Oluo would go as far as saying he loved Levi’s boldness, bravery… and not to mention his capabilities as a soldier… but there was another thing he mimicked Levi for. Sadly it only made the reason void because it doesn’t have the same effect at all.

It wasn’t until sometime later that the second reason was spoken, and Petra never heard it. Petra was already dead. He saw her crushed against the tree by the female titans foot. His heart shattered like glass, his eyes filled with tears. So many feelings and images and thoughts went through his head in the few seconds it took for Oluo to meet his fate. Somehow he didn’t think about trying to run away… his friends, Petra… was dead and this titan killed them… her.

 _“Petra I acted the fool like I did because you loved Levi. I acted like him because I wanted you to love me. I loved you so much. It turns out I was a coward after all… I could not tell you how I felt without you hating me. Life is cruel and short… and now mine is over without you.”_ Oluo thought as he raced to his death.

He was good but this was no ordinary titan. He knew he would die… he knew he could not kill this thing and bring her back, so when the death blow came; it wasn’t so much painful to his body as to his mind and heart. She never knew the real him, something he will always regret he never showed her in his pursuit to love her. His broken bones and burst organs will serve as a reminder as he rots that she never really knew him… and it was his fault. If only he had… All he could think of as he lay bleeding and drifting away was _Petra… Petra… I…_


End file.
